I’ve now entered my 50’s, after 20 years of having no clue, 5 years of higher education (still no clue), and another 20 years of professional software development (still no clue) and 5 years of starting to come to my senses.
And I mean senses. All of them.
I’m not a kid, and primarily a scientist. Yet I feel like I’m finally learning about life for the first time.
My parents raised me as a Christian (Anglican church), but later I found myself an atheist. Still, the science in me told me there was more out there, unexplained, unknown. And now I don’t know what category I’d fall into.
I do have some kind of faith now in something greater. We somehow appear from cosmic space dust, to live for a blink of an eye in the timescale of the universal, only to return back to the cosmic space dust from whence we came. I believe there is an energy, a spirit, a consciousness… something… binding us together, that survives long after our bodies are returned to dust. Whether that something has a greater consciousness is unknown to me. And whether there are other conscious spirits out there, the take physical bodies or not, that I don’t know. I am not a Christian, or any other particular religion. I try to follow some of the behavioral ideas of Buddhism, but I am not religious. However lately I have become much more spiritual. Is there a God? Probably, but probably not in the sense that most religions describe. I greater combined consciousness perhaps, that we join when we die.
Perhaps that is Heaven.